


Console

by Lolika (Lolika_0777)



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of Crying, Monika is lonely, Sayori never goes cray cray, Self-Indulgent Drabbling, Suicide Attempt, and cold, post-act 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 20:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolika_0777/pseuds/Lolika
Summary: Monika spends her newfound time in the void watching the world go on without her. Deleting herself was the best choice, right? Isn't everyone happier?Based on the ship prompt “I am not losing you again!”





	Console

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever, so uh, it's not going to be that good. I just wrote on a whim after my friend sent me a bunch of prompts. It's not stellar writing, just drabbling. Enjoy anyways -w-;;?

         The void was cold, but after spending eternity in it Monika had become numb. She had no real connection to the world she once knew anymore, only able to watch everything unfold. No one remembered her. No one knew she ever even existed. There was no trace of her left. It was if the world was punishing her for all her cruelty towards the others. Even the console remained by her side, blinking, waiting for her cursed touch to condemn the world once more, the permanent reminder of her mistakes. She knew that she deserved this, as much as she didn’t truly want it. She regretted deleting herself. She wishes she could still be with the rest of the club, writing poetry, preparing for the festival, having fun. Programmed AIs or not, life was good for her.

        Monika pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. She shouldn’t be thinking like this. It wasn’t going to do her any good drowning in her own sorrows, it isn’t like it would matter much at this point anyways. Wanting to distract herself, she watched the screen closely. Right now Sayori was on the screen. It seemed like the protagonist was having another one of his inner monologues, going about how Sayori seemed sadder than normal as of late.

…Wait, what?

That couldn’t have been right. Monika rubbed her eyes, making sure she was reading the dialogue right.

_"Maybe I'm reading into it a little too much, but she seems a bit downcast today..."_

…That couldn’t be. She was gone, nothing could have tampered with Sayori’s depression this time. Even though she still had it, Sayori was always able to keep the façade going without her intervention. The poems had been happier than last time up until this day too, from what she remembered. Something was going wrong. She looked over at the console, looking over the log:

> mc "Maybe I'm reading into it a little too much, but she seems a bit downcast today..."
> 
> mc “Maybe Natsuki knows something? They do share more classes together than I do.”
> 
> mc “She doesn’t seem too busy right now anyway. I approach her.”
> 
> show natsuki 5k zorder 2 at t11
> 
> n “Huh? [player]? What’s up?”
> 
> mc "Hey, this might sound a little strange, but..."
> 
> mc "Have you noticed anything up with Sayori recently?"

        ..No no no. Monika was starting to panic. She deleted herself to _save_ the club. Everyone was supposed to be happy, everyone was supposed to be safe. No one was able to hurt them anymore. So why was…

        …maybe it was just scripted for Sayori to have a bad day? Yeah, that seemed right. Everyone has bad days, right? Something must have just happened. It will just be a cute little scene with the protagonist cheering up Sayori. Everything will be fine. No one will get hurt.

…     

The faster the script began to move, the harder it became to believe that. Sayori had already left, leaving just the protagonist, Yuri, and Natsuki alone to handle with the festival. The air felt heavier than normal, she felt sick to her stomach. One line of text caught her eye as she watched intently.

_“Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen..."_

…Monika’s worries were coming true. It felt like the script had start to blaze through everything. Sayori revealing her depression to the protagonist, the protagonist and Yuri spending the weekend together, and then—

_“I love you.”_

_“You will always be my dearest friend.”_

        …The game had stopped running. The console light turned red, implying an error. It seemed the game didn’t know what to do. The log was going crazy with potential fixes, but Monika just stared at the screen. She knew what would happen no matter what option the game went with. Tears started to stream down her face.

        “I… I’m… s-so sorry, Sayori…” Monika held her head in her hands. She felt pathetic. How _dare_ she care about Sayori at all after what she had done to her? It was foolish to think she could have saved anything by deleting herself. The world is cruel, isn’t it? It only made _her_ of all people aware of what it truly was, after all. Not only did she have no one that could understand her, but she couldn’t even really live. She knew no one existed but the five of them, there were no other classes, students, anything. She had so much power, yet couldn’t ever do anything but hurt anyone.

        …so much power…

        The screen was starting to fade. Monika’s tears dried as a new thought filled her head. She still had the console. It was always there… she couldn’t… could she…? It was almost finished with loading the new day.

        “…N… No!”

        Monika acted quickly, inputting a command:

> >renpy.script.pause(120.0)
> 
> >Pausing, please wait…
> 
> >Script paused for 120.0 seconds successfully.

        Two minutes was enough. The script was frozen, she could fix this. No, not fix. Sayori didn’t need to be fixed. She needed to be saved… Monika could save her. She _will_ save her.

        “I can’t lose her again…”

> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…

        “I… I won’t...”

> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.

        “N-No! Let me back in!”

        She was already running out of time.

> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…
> 
> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.

        “Just bring me back! I won’t hurt anyone this time, I promise!”

> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…
> 
> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.

        Monika began to slam on the console, crying once again. “I-I don’t want this... _please_ , you need to bring me back!”

> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…
> 
> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.
> 
> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…
> 
> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.
> 
> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Trying to load, please wait…
> 
> >Error! “monika.chr” not found in directory “characters”.
> 
> >os.load(“characters/monika.chr”)
> 
> >Error!
> 
> >Error!
> 
> >Error!

        “I am _not_ losing her again!”

        Monika screamed, slamming on the console once more. She hit her face on… the floor? That couldn’t be right. She got up, noticing that she was now in a hallway, outside a door. The console was gone with the cold of the void, now replaced with an eerie chill. Was this…?

There was only one way to find out. She slammed the door in front of her open, still crying. “Sayori!” Her voice was garbled and mangled beyond comprehension, but sure enough, she saw _her_.

Sayori was already on the stool, ready to use the noose. At seeing Monika, she screamed and tripped, knocking over the stool. Monika quickly ran to help, but…

…

Sayori had landed on the floor with a hard thump, groaning. Monika froze up, staring down at Sayori. Sayori looked back up at her, expression filled with terror. “..How d-d... Who a-are you?” Sayori started back up, uncomfortable with the strange static face staring down at her.

“I… I did it!” Monika started grinning, kneeling down by Sayori. “Y-You’re alive!”

Sayori backed up more, hitting her head on the desk. She was too focused on the static to really notice. “Y-Yeah, you, um, ehe.. he…” Sayori started to sniffle.

Monika’s grin quickly faded, realizing the gravity of their current situation. “O-Oh geez.” Sayori quickly began sobbing, burying her face in her knees.

“H-Hey, don’t cry! Please, everything is…” Monika couldn’t claim everything was fine because it clearly wasn’t. She awkwardly wrapped her arms around Sayori, trying to embrace her. “I-It’s okay! Just… let it out.”

Sayori didn’t even protest, finding Monika’s embrace strangely familiar and warm. Monika began to rub soothing circles into her back, feeling more comfortable. She didn’t care about the growing damp spot on her shoulder from Sayori’s tears, all that mattered was that Sayori was alive.

…

After what seemed like eternity (was the script still paused and Monika didn’t know?), Sayori had finally calmed down. The two had moved to Sayori’s bed, as sitting on the floor against a wooden desk wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world. Monika sighed, everything had spiraled much more out of control than she thought it would. She rubbed the back of her head. “It feels so weird being back here.”

“Um, that’s… actually what I wanted to ask you.” Sayori started twiddle her fingers, looking away from Monika with a nervous smile.

Monika was a little confused. “Huh?”

“…Who are you? And how did you get in my house?”

Oh, right. Monika should have thought about that when she had erased herself from existence. Laughing awkwardly, she scooted a bit away from Sayori. “…It’s… it’s a long story. Like, a _really_ long story. But my name is Monika.”

Sayori smiled brightly up at her. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Monika! Sorry you had to see all of…” She gestured to the tipped over stool and cut rope. “…this.”

Monika waved her hand in front of her face, smiling. “It’s alright, it’s alright! I came to stop you after all, I knew what I was getting into.”

“Yeah…” Sayori stared at Monika for a moment, then looked down at her lap. “U-Um, thank you for all that too… and calming down. Even if you did break into my house to save me.”

“Please don’t say it like that.” Monika’s smile turned nervous once again. Despite how strange their situation, Monika was truly happy for once.

And she blamed her unusually quick heartbeats on the adrenaline rush from before, not Sayori’s adorable smile of course.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to make more OTL


End file.
